Today was pretty cool.... I went on a road trip with a friend .  She and I have been a bit drifted apart lately.....

As in arguing over things that I...at this point, am not sure were even valid or existing.  I think that we were both too stressed at the same time...and we were amking mountains out of mole hills.  There ARE things we need to work through. But....I think we're ont eh road tot hat. We shared some thigns we haven't spoken about in ....years even.

I think that is part of why I have been as hostile as I have been to her.  She talks to other people about these things, but she and I used to be confidantes and we talked about all this stuff...and compared beliefs and steps we were taking in our growth....then all of a sudden one day....she just stopped....

So feeling uncomfortable....because I knew her man knew a LOT LOT LOT more than I .....I stopped also....not wanting her telling him everything I said ...and thinking..hey maybe they are sitting there laughing at what I think..because it's so stupid....

Of course, in the past year or so...I think I've spoken to Markus more about spiritual stuff than delencrie....which...in retrospect seems odd, since by telling HER i was in effect telling HIm and it was HIM laughing at me that bothered me.....However...maybe I am now at the poitn where I don't want HER laughing at what I percieve as the way to do things....cuz she is so far ahead of me now.....

But today....we talked....REALYL talked...about things and steps...and how much we know....not so much as coudl have...but I think we are both feeling our way back into this....with BABY steps....

THANK THE GODS though that I can FINALLY talk to SOMEONE i'm REALLY REALLY close to about all this.....instead of blogging to people who will most likely never meet me IRL.....hmmm....nto that i woudlnt want to you guys...just...frustrating..nto being able to tell my best friend things...you know?